Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
