DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
it was like eating out sand paper
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
