we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Randomize
