so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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