i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
