put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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