I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
