am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
