Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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