If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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