it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
