i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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