dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
