someone threw a dead crab at me
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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