What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We were destined to go to rehab together
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
