We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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