I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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