Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
