Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
she told me i tasted like america
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
