Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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