Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
