I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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