You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
where am i from again
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
