Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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