Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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