with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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