dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
