The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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