actually, I'm a sock model
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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