Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
