It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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