Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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