I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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