glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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