Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
