it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
this is an emotional support booty call
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
