my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
