just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize