So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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