i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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