So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
