just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
