A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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