is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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