Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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