Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
