His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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