Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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