found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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