I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
