is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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