Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
