i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
