Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
