all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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