Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
