Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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