he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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