I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
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