The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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