im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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