How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
