Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
