1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
