i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
