Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
