Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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