Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
